That Guy I'm Seeing


Someone, perhaps a character in a film, once said "Every woman has the exact love life that she wants." 

Perhaps this is true for women. It is no revolution to say that girls have grown up into an age of independence. Relationships are faster, more accessible and easier to dispose of with the help of technology. I can't tell you how helpful the 'Block' option has been on Facebook and Tinder alike. 

But continuously I hear friends moan that they have no time for relationships, or that they can't find a normal guy, or that they are 'on the rocks' in their relationship. 

And quite simply put it is because they are having the exact relationship that they want.

If you met a guy worthy of your time then he'd surely be getting your time. Perhaps normal is just a little boring and maybe you're in the rocky relationship because the drama excites you and hopefully the make up sex is worth it.

But the one thing I have noticed in my own relationships is the phrase 'That guy I'm seeing'. 

And I won't blame 'that Guy I'm seeing'. To do so would be to deny the independence which I so strongly believe in, and to make a mockery of Beyoncé, which is one thing I will never do. 

But are we scared to let our relationships becoming anything more than casual or is it convenience which keeps them in the grey area? 

On the one hand the prospect of bikini waxes, painted toe nails and smooth tanned limbs is a hassle I could do without forgoing on a regular basis. Or am I just scared that if I let 'that Guy I'm seeing' know that I want to step things out of the grey and into the light, that he'll run a mile? Especially if I haven't been adhering to the aforementioned beauty regime, because god forbid he finds out I'm not perfect. 

Maybe we're all too tech savy with too many options to actually embrace a real connection with the one person we're dating.

Facebook connected one third of the world during the last decade. Then between Tinder, Match, PoF and OkCupid almost a third of those people were connected, and soon began hooking up.

No wonder I can't just shut up and commit to someone. 

Just like him I'm worried that changing my Facebook status will automatically exclude me from the possibility of speed dating, threesomes, or just simply kissing a stranger in the corner of a dimly lit party and then tweeting about it.

With so much temptation how can we find the will power to throw out the flirty apps and websites and stop seeing and start being with someone? 

But what is the difference? Or is it just a matter of confidence?

On a recent date I was asked that horrifically daunting but often longed for question; would you like to see me again? 

My brain screamed 'YES' but all I could manage was a weak, "Erm, if you'd like to..." 

It was our third date! And after each previous date he had asked the same question. Always him. And I had given pretty much identical responses. 

He had laughed and told me that I had a say in it too. 

And he was right, I did. I really liked this guy and he was taking me out to bars and kissing me good night so, yes, he must like me. So why wouldn't I ever ask him out? 

Because I was having the exact love life that I wanted. 

I was being desired by someone I desired, keeping them hanging on just a little, a style I have worn since I was 16 and finally grew breasts and quit stuffing my bra. 

 Maybe it's a bad habit that I'll grow out of. Or perhaps what we want changes. 

I want to see him again, so I've decided to ask him out, that's a huge step for me. I'll let you know how it goes. 

Remember, you have a say in it too.